Major regrets!

Alright, my blog is so dead.
I think i should blog something as i wanted to vent my anger too. lots of things happen recently, My mood broke down, &yeah.. Thats when i asked so many people to accompany, thanks! Yes beryl & her's boyfriend brought me to marina beradge at the late night, before hand we went to eat prata @jalankayu. &yes, chocolate prata & i'm down with sorethroat & flu.. & whatever i eat seems so tasteless now, sigh! Too much chocolate for me, I'm coughing my lungs out. Grh! so irritating, Went airport to study with elaine & co yesterday, & i'm sorry i shouldn't have suggest you girls to tht place as i'm wasting your time ):

Went to granny place as cousin say granny is missing, gave me a fright! Alright, I'm trying to study but my sickness came at the wrong time. Bad headache causes me to sleep when i'm at granny's place.. Panadol doesn't seems working, sigh! I don't have much time left, I've tons of notes to memorize! Ohyes, i've a webcam now.. play webcaming with me okay? haha! & i have tons of photo to upload. After my exam i will be free blogging, & class chalet is coming 7,8,9 dec & as well as netball chalet 14,15,16 dec. Can't wait eh, I'm gonna get myself drunk during class chalet (: hahaha! Coool~ & i'm waiting for my nephew to come out from cousin's tummy, Alden Goh. :DDD


I've tons of things to tell you S.
Seens you've your girls why don't you treasure her?
No point talking those useless stuff as i said i wouldn't turn back.
Yes, It's too late.. & i wouldn't wanna turned back either.
Treasure before everything is gone okay!
I hope you understand what i mean..
140109 is over, I aint that kiamin you know now.
Yes, I fucking hate those feeling you've gave me..
It's so awful! I hate it.. OVER!
It's OVER..


Kiamin need to mug her work now!
& she need happy pills too..


Labels: Empty Bed.

Concentrate & Study.

Alright exam is just next week & i haven finish revising all my notes. So i need to stop blogging now & concentrate on my study. Yes no more computer for me tilled exam is over, & ofcause other things else. Well, i'm tired. But i've to study, Yawns! I want to relief myself after exam, hee! CHALET :D


Labels: My bed is so empty, Misses!



STUDY STUDY STUDY :D

I'm disappointed in myself

My bad, i've disappoint someone again. Perheps i need time, yeah. Lost of trust is one thing, i broke my promise over & over again. Fuck! Test is just next week, I need to buck up. I will wait, wait tilled the time comes. I don't want everything to be drifted apart, well.. She need time, i need time too. Alright, Nithyaa if you happen to see this i wanna thank you for the project you are helping me on.. Well, it need time to heal everything up. Trust is the key, No Trust No Gain .. Okay i shall not say too much now. When i'm down i just need someone, yeah. My happy pills, well..




Labels: FML

My heart shattered into pieces

To N:
I don't know when can we settle everything & be back to normal. I know you are ignoring me now, i texted you but you didnt reply. Okay, nevermind. I know you need time to chill yourself, i've make you disappointed. I'm sorry! I didn't keep my words when i'm playing court game, once again sorry! i know a word of "sorry" is nothing, how i wish everything will be back like the past? Yes those happy moments, how much i wish to go back to the past now la. Staying in this situation really hurts, I know i shouldn't be emo-ing yesterday. It's my bad, Everything are changing. We're just so cold now, aint we? What about our deal? issit still on? I really don't know what really happen to you now? i seriously don't know, i wanted to ask you but you choose to ignore me. Haish! You know how jealous am i seeing you so good with R? & she can make you happy but i can't, i read back all those messages you send me in the past it's so sweet. After looking back & compare to now, my heart break into pieces. I drip my tears while reading it, my bed is so cold. I need you! I miss you sleeping beside me, i miss those hugs & kisses you gave. I miss us talking over the phone, i just miss those sweet memories. But what now? playing back those memories make my heart bleed, I don't mean to hurt your ankle just now, i hope you are fine now. Please ice it okay, i can do nothing now. I know you don't need me to care, i know everything wouldn't be like the past. I know the deal is already gone, I'm sorry to make you cry too, please don't treat me so cold can? Please don't ignore me can? Haish! please take good care of yourself, iloveyou! :'(






I'm freaking emotional now, my brain is so empty.
She will never know the feeling of mine now,
in the past she use to care alot, but now everything seem so different.
I wanted to rewind my time back if i can?
I seriously wanted to, i've misunderstood her yesterday.
Tell me, tell me what happen to us?
Tell me when can we settle everything & be back to the past?
Tell me what really going on now?
Tell me if those deal is still on? I hope it is.
I just wanted to hear those sweet word from your mouth one more time.
I wanted you,
Tell me if we can be back to the past,
I'm typing this with tears, with pain.
You wouldn't know how much i love you,
You will never know how much i need you now,
You will never know how much i wanted everything to be back to the past.
Please for god sake just take care of yourself & your health.
I'm speechless now..




Insomnia, 爱一直存在.

I Feel Like Shouting Out :C

Happy 17th Birthday to TAN YI SHAN (LP)

Alright, finally you've wait tilled this day to come.

& yes you're welcome to 17th auntie group,

haha! Ohyes, still you own my 17 bash. haha!

well, hope you've enjoyed your birthday this year. (L)

Alright, surprisingly i'm early for school today. I reached j8 @ about 833am, so i texted elaine & co they are all on the way to bishan. So i waited for them for like few minutes? it's okay, head to school tgt. Had BPF lesson, i'm so confused about the loan instalment & stuff. Going nut soon, well.. I'm so tired i woke up kinda early today, tsk!

After BPF it's my death manzx, BEG test is killing me. I didnt know how to do cause i didnt revise tht subject, so i just anyhow bomb 1 answer. Revised for POA after the test, i hope i will not flunk this time round. Tsk! After school head to canteen to had fish&chip, yummy! After school head to j8 cotton-on as i wanna see some stuff, but don't have my size sial. So sad, went home then asked mum to accompany me to hg mall. I bought 2 shirts & 1 short & it cost me a bomb, Mum la add oil asked me buy tht umbrella so total i spent $55 in the cotton-on shop. Tsk! I'm broke already la, pay not yet in i still have more things to buy. I'm so damn unluck today, sigh!

Went home after shopping, online then chat with, QQ,RAY,ELAINE & CHENYING. & yes finally tmr we've an outing. Steamboat with them, shall take lot of photo. haha! well, empiring thingy tmr. Need to wake up early to go kallang netball center. Aw! it's a tired day for me again, Sunday there will be street netball @ngee ann city. Haha! okay, I'm so bored now. As well as i'm agitated, tsk! *ROLL EYES* WHATEVER.

I don't need you to care, as long as i'm happy with my life thats it.

No point telling others about what stuff, i know you've a gf.

go ahead, last long. Don't come bother me, i'm not wicked or whatever.

I just don't want you to care so much about me, no use no point.

I'm gonna throw away everything you bought, yes everything.

Well, Bye then...

I FEEL LIKE SHOUTING OUT LOUD NOW !

F-king break down.

Yishan edited this, so sweet of her. (: haha!

Alright, before waiting for BEO teacher to come.

I know it's abit retard

Smile (:

Oh, F-king Retard.

Hmm, Stupid right?

More retard..

Last but not least, haha! Alright elaine i've post those picture up. Grab it anytime..

I'm late for school again, grats to me. ohyah when i reached class i got back my class test unit 7 test paper. fuck, i flunk badly. I didn't forcus on my study, sucks. lesson & so on, BEO lesson went to the lab at the last period. My mood suddenly break down, cause i saw something which is eh.. Alright i shall not elaborate further, went home ate alot.. I kept complaining to yishan i'm hungry, yah we are so lame in class today. We are msging each other, though she is just sitting beside me.. sigh!

Reached home take a nap, then bath & was waiting dad to come back with my dinner. I'm so damn hungry. While i'm eating, i heard something which make me feel more break down lah. Tsk! I'm gonna win her, sigh! I have no faith in myself, i will do my very best then. Shoo shoo shoo la you, sigh! I don't know why love are so weird, @first when you have crush on tht person he wouldn't wanna bother you. But after you have crush into another person, he will start to care & so on. Yes, I just don't understand. But still i love her more then anyone else, okay i was thinking if let say that guy really win her what am i suppose to do? I really don't know sial, haish! She didn't reply my msg again, tsk! By hook or by coop i'm gonna win her heart, grh!

I miss you, sigh! I don't have the mood to study now, there is 2 test tomorrow. How am i gonna memorize? alright BEG test i flunk it too, cause i didn't really put BEG as a subject in my heart. So i didnt wanna study that subject, I'm happy at the outside but i'm sad in the inside. I hated mum to ask me on that stupid television b'cos she wanted to see her TOTO! she is incorrigible, this isn't the first time.. I hated to hear that word from her mouth. Sickening, i fucking don't feel like staying at home.. Sometime dad will anyhow throw me temper, but i really don't know why? *roll eyes* whatever..

I'm so tired, I wanna ton outside the beach.. Enjoying the wind at night, seeing stars if there is.. Haish! I'm so tired, i just feel like giving up on study.. I shouldn't have say this, ahh! Fuck what am i thinking now.. So f-king stress, Come on kiamin.. Work hard & aim for what you want, Add-oil add-oil! Alright, I wonder why you care so much. It's non of your business anyway, what the..

HIGHER NITEC, HIGHER NITEC f-king stress me out D=

I need you,

I miss you,

I love you.

G O N E ?

" If you have the guts to love, please do so. "

There is no right or wrong loving someone, it's all depend on fate.

Yes, there is no way we can control our life.

Just accept what god have given you,

Love is complicated, so treasure everything around you before it is too late to do so.

Sometimes can happy with your love life, but sometime you can just cried over it.
there is no rush in r/s, so just let nature take it course.

I'm so sick of my blogskin already, therefore i've change a new one.. haha! alright,

Lesson start at 9am today, i was late as usual. Cause i'm so damn tired that i kept snoozing my alarm clock. Head to school next, My mood super turned off today due to gastric. well, had unit 7 test, i think i'm gonna flunk my test cause i didn't really study much. & i made a mistake during the test, i went to change a correct ans to a wrong ans. sigh! I'm so damn moody, thus i didn't talked much in class today.

After POA was our break time, i ate porridge today.. Cause i don't have any appetite, N called well i shouldn't have talked in a moody tone @first. I should be happy cause she called, sorry! I'm afriad that she'll be angry, well.. Had BEO lesson, i was using com throughout the lesson. So bored, after BEO we had LPDX lesson. It's presentation time, i'm so nervous. I talked like !@#@$#! tsk, but finally LPDX presentation is over. Still there is BPF & BEO project not yet done. Sigh!

Exam is coming nearer, i need to buck up already. After school, went J8 with yishan & co after that took 88 to find karim. I've been waiting for her for like 123456 hours, haha! She kept saying 5 minutes but her 5 minutes is 20 minutes. Tsk, finally she came down from her house. Walked over to hg point & girl was like calling ppl out lah. I mean those guys, so lazy.. Asked them out like want their life, haha! Went over to point, bought bubble tea then head to Hacter house. It had been long seen i last saw them la, haha! They was like watching lion dance, then chat awhile.. Bus home, reached home ate my dinner then i dozed off at the sofa. So tiring, Woke up withing a few minutes cause once dad reached home it's a torture cause he talked damn loud..

Oh, got people selling ice-cream uh. So dad went to bought ice-cream for us, yummy. went bath after that, & yes i'm online-ing now.. haha! gosh, i don't know where is N uh? Msg her like got no reply, don't know what happen :\ sigh! Her life saving end so late meh? Impossible, ahh! I'm waiting for her to reply ... Today weather is hot & cold, don't know what happen actually. Rain & stop, super weird.. I gotta sleep early already, lesson start @8 tmr. I think i'm gonna late again, tsk!

Sometimes, i'm so damn disppointed in myself.

I'm so useless at everything i do

Oh, I sucks to the core.

Yeah, back to post again.
I'm so tired nowadays, had ITSC competition yesterday. It was a tough game i should said? I hated those people who played violents on the court, pissed to the max. Congrates to CC team 1 they managed to get 3rd, yeah but will miss those seniors.. Tsk!

After our games, went to simei's toilet for shower. We're so damn smelly, after our shower we bus over to tampiness as coach is treating all of us swenson (: Okay we splited ourself in groups so that it is easier to eat, & know what? Our group like thousands year never eat la.. Within few minutes our food ended inside our stomach, hee! After swenson, nat, bear, elaine & me went to have ajisen for our dinner. Super delicious! okay, I missed those time eating ajisen with toh karim & eu chiewchin. Tsk!

Okay after eating went draw money, then elaine & beryl went home first. So nat & me went to bought bubble tea then head to TM1 roof top to slack awhile. After that head home, ohgosh.. I missed the char siew rice which god sis cooked last saturday. Sigh! Oh boring there isnt any training already, so it's time to study for exam. Yeah, street netball this sunday... Add-oil ppl, haha! There is test tomorrow! Sigh! Wish me good luck then, haha. So happy lesson cancelled, can go home already. bye!

I'm stuck in a dark dark cave, Lead me out from there.

My brain just can't stop thinking, i'm way too sensitive. I always think of the bad points, I'm so disappointed in myself. I suck alot, i'm so useless man! I can't do my part, i didn't go through it with her. I failed to do my part, Fuck! i can't make her happy, I'm so so so useless. kiamin wake up! It's time for you to change for the better, I'm gonna study hard now. But please keep your promise, i scare if i didn't go up to higher nitec then ... Haish! I really don't know what to do? I'm lost, i'm stuck. I want something that can really cheer me up, which is you. I want a hug from you )= sigh! A sudden break down, sigh! I want S&D.. I'm tired of revising my work, i feel like giving up. But i can't, i don't wanna let them down.. Thus i've to study, come on kiamin. Add-oil now, exam is near.. i know i'm not the best, i'm immature. I'm not the one, but i'm trying my best to be there for you when you need me.. )=

I miss them hell lots, I really miss those past. We used to play mahjong, go out & many more. They will always be there for me when i'm down, last time as well as now. Thank girl, i miss your hell lot.. Please plan a meeting date okay? (L)

Orlangers, i miss having training with them. They never failed to make my day, yeap! Bestie, niece & all my best best friends. I love going out with them, lots of unglams & joy will always happen. Haha! Especially that clumsy duckie, ohyeah.. Plan an outing soon, loves!

Yes, this was taken last year netball chalet. It's so fun, we drink & i was drunk. Well, midnight movies. Catching cockroach, laughter & many more.. We played the floor games as well as water bomb. Although there is conflict on that day, but still our friendships will never break apart am i right? Well, sad to say we can't plan chalet this year. Oh i miss netball camp too! Although that camp is so damn pathetic, only few ppl turn up & stay over. Slept inside the staff room, on the hard hard floor somemore! Tsk! but i miss those games we played, Yeah! people inside that picture is busy studying i guess, cause of o'level. Yeap, please pass with flying colour okay! Shall meet up sooooonnnn! Misses.

4 technical 1 chalet, it's a pathetic one i should say? Only 3 girls stay over night, thank to mr cheong he open the chalet for us but he didn't stay over with us. Grh! But the BBQ session was cool la, every people turn up as well as mr azizi & mdm martini include mr cheong also.. I miss those crazy girls in our class, we have been 4 years classmate.. I still rmb i'm not that close with karim & co when i'm in sec 1. tsk! ha, i miss mr cheong teaching us maths. I always sleep in class, what he alway like to do is walk to my table asked me wake up then he will always say "zhu ar shui shui shui" Tsktsktsk! & i love chinese lesson too, mian bao teacher always let us watched Video.. It's either doramon or xi you ji. then she will always tell us about ghost story that happen to her. Aiyoo! So many memory )=

I miss dragonboat training, I miss competition time. Tsk! it's so fun, i wanna play Dragonboat again.. sigh! This was taken hell long time ago. I think 1 year ago i guess haha! Well cool luh, taking that paddle then row here & there. Wooos!

Singapore flyer, whole class went there together. It's cool you know, walking tgt as a class. haha! omg i wanna go flyer again. Especially when night time, it's nice.. & i still rmb mr azizi treat us sweason on that day, he's rich uh..

alright alright, woke up kinda early. I'm so tired, cause i slept late. ate breakfast, thought of doing project but dad nag nag nag asked me faster bath & change then go pray. Tsk! then when i reach bugis there went in to the temple & started praying, I hate people pushing me lah, they are like so kan chiong. & their joss stick thingy drop on me, tsk! Singapore aunties uh, really.... after praying went to eat vegetarian beehoon, kinda delicious! & today is my first time hearing dad he want to eat vegetarian. Walked awhile, then i went home alone as dad & mum going granny place..

Went home do my projects, super rush.. I gonna revise my work later, tsk! i'm so so tired. there is competition tmr, i'm so so nervous. have to wake up super early tmr, yawns! alright gotta go, bye!

IMY!