Been long..

Out to have dinner with the girls yesterday.

Nice dinner, Nice chat.

Homed after our dinner!

Have been working these days, feel kinda tired. Need some times to relax myself, I need to prepare for my school. Need a small pencil case & new spects especially, Feel kinda excited & nervous. Bad feeling. I want to go Genting, taiwan & bangkok ): So many places, need to save!

Oh yes, i am still waiting for the CDAC confirmation letter to come! Don't know need to wait for how long. Hopefully they approved!

Alright, it have been 3 week. But I still having this heavy heart feeling, Missed her so much.

feel like tearing whenever i hear this song :

Granny let me dream of you please!

我很想你！
Heart feel so heavy after seeing this picture. Who knows how's the feeling like losing your true loves one.
No one understand why I am feeling so agitated these days. It sucks it really sucks

第三个礼拜。

婆婆这个礼拜天就是您离开我们的第三个礼拜了！昨天晚上睡觉时突然想起您对我说过的话。想起您问起妈妈为什么没来您家，您还问我妈妈是不是不喜欢你。然我感到非常的心痛，不只要如何然您知道他的事情。

多么希望您回来帮他，看到他那么辛苦感到非常心痛。我还想起以前我小时候您每次都会到巴刹买我最喜欢吃得肉松来个我配粥。

想起您以前对我们的好，想起您的可爱的笑容让我突然想再次拥抱您多一次。每当我看到有老婆婆走在路旁我多么希望那个老婆婆是您。

已经过了三个礼拜了，我们还是放不下啊！)':

Chinese new year eve

Yes today is Chinese new year eve yet I don't feel anything at all. No excitement, no feel. Every year I used to wake up early, go praying and have reunion lunch. After that have to rush ourself down to grandma's place to pray and eat reunion lunch again.

But this year it's somehow different, missing grandma happily eating Tgt with us. She always wanted to come our place to stay but no one can take care of her. Sigh.. Daddy always repeat this to himself.

I missed those days, having you around giving us laughter. Every year is the same but not from this year onwards.

Please come visit us during chu 2 , we all miss u.

Pity

Whenever i go to the food court for lunch,

there is this old lady who work inside the food court as a cleaner. Not that working as a cleaner isn't good but i feel kinda pitiful to see those old ah ma working inside. Walking here and there to collect the used plate, cleaning the table & etc.. She did talk to us, asking us not to smoke and etc. Ohyes btw she smoke, but she see me standing outside the food court waiting for my colleague to finish smoking. She asked me " xiao mei you nv smoke ah" I replied nope, She say it's good better don't learn how to smoke if not you will get addicted.

She is nice lady though, but seems like the other cleaner love to bully her thus she keep mumbling about them. But she really makes me remind of ah ma, or should i say every old lady i saw will makes me remind her. oh well...

Almost done with my work, time pass super slow today ):

想念你

I dream of you calling? Issit you? I heard your voice, I miss you so much. It have been a week plus since you have gone to another world.

-missing your present
-your smile
-your hugs
-your skinny little hands

This year Chinese new year, it will be a lot different compared to past few years. Every year, everyone of us will bring 2 big oranges to your hse to 拜年. But this year? Haiz, every one is missing you so much. Hoping that you will be around, you will always be that pretty ah ma in everyone's heart.

It's the mid-January, my application for school gonna closed soon. Gonna settle it this week once and for all! Hoping that I will work harder than before. Ah ma blessed me ok!

您还过的好吗？

亲爱的婆婆，
今天是您的头七日。想知道您在天堂还过得好吗？还习惯那里的日子吗？ 我们大都很想你哦！ 看得出最近二叔叔他非常的伤心，初三就是他的生日了。我们会帮他庆祝的，请您放心！ 但是婆婆， 我们大家都很想你，我们都好希望您会快点出现在我们的梦里。看到您和公公又可以在一起，我感到很高兴。那当然我还会抱着一颗依依不舍心情啦，我真的很怀念小时候的日子。 每当您家楼下有 PASAR MALAM 的时候， 您都会给我钱叫我和 KAIWEN 去买我们想要吃的东西。 但现在，我只能在梦里看见你！我真的很想再次拥抱您永远也不要和您分开，婆婆我们大家都很爱您。 您感觉得到吗？多么希望理天里有INTERNET， 能然我们跟你联络啊。haiz， 是我想太多了！ 婆婆您一定要保佑我下星期六没有做工以为我很想去买你喜欢吃的WAFFLE 来拜您啊，你一定要保佑ok？

我爱你。

RIP Grandma ):

It have not been a v good start of the month, on sunday after dying my hair rushed all the way down to hospital to see my granny. She keep on saying strange stuffs & remind my uncles to do this and that. I thought she was just talking nonsense, But uncle asked all of us to stay by her side till 11 plus. & that was when i am seeing her suffering, having difficulties in breathing. So that's was when she left us by the time of 2330, her oxygen level went super low. She didn't responds when everyone is calling her to breath, I missed her! Everyone was crying, the painful side that she waited everyone to reach hospital & she was announced dead..

She teared, she don't bare to leave us. But she have got no choice, went to choose her coffins & stuffs. Home next, & the next morning went over to her house to pack her stuffs. Strange things is, godsis found her watch & the time stopped at 2330. Is her death time, so when alden came he asked sis to go into the toilet where granny kept his toys. No one knows where the toys are, but alden do. Sigh, pray & everything.. Seeing granny's photo & lying inside the coffins really breaks everyone of us down.

I hoped that she can get back tgt with grandpa as they have been separated for so many years! Today is the last day i see grandma, i feel like hugging her, but now i can't. I only can see her photos, I wished i can dream of her. Hoping that she can tell me not to worry as she is v blessed staying in heaven tgt with gods. Tmr gonna collect her bones, I love you granny. Thanks for doting everyone of us. Seeing us grow up one by one!

Heartbreaks

Heard another news from godsis,
Granny need to be fed thru her nose. that's gonna make her very uncomfortable, She teared while the nurse inserted the tube into her nose. This is a torture, really a torture, been hoping & praying that she will be able to discharge before new year. The stupid doctor only mentioned it today that if she continue eating normal food, all the food will goes into her lung. WTS right? like after so long staying inside hospital then they voiced out?

When she having all those check-up, they just say she is okay blah blah blah! I am so scare, so scare now. Upon hearing what jeremy told me, he said that his granny actually only can have food thru her nose. & they fed her milk, he said there is a virus in that hospital that couldn't be cure. If you kana that virus it's a very serious thing, & that is when his granny pass away b'cos of that "unknown" virus.

I am so scared now! Haiz, i can't see her tearing with pain. She have suffered alot, please let her recovered & discharged ASAP ):

T.G.I.F

I miss you, baby ballball!

Hello everybody,
Work is tiring, I feels tired whenever i travel to work or go home from work. I really don't know why, despite sleeping for long hours. I can never get enough sleep, Never enough!

Ohwell, it's weekend again. the reason why i love week end is because i can sleep late & wake up even later. Haha! I kinda miss my holiday in Macau & hongkong, i love the weather there although its kinda cold. But the lifestyle there are kinda simple, some things are cheap compared to singapore.

What i hate the most?
Going hongkong, excluding DisneyLand.
Had a very bad experience there, So many people there & their MTR is srsly packed like what. We need to wait for like 5 to 6 train to go then we can board the train. the humans there just don't know how to auto, keep pushing like no body business & it's damn hot inside compared to outside! Sigh.. Disneyland was quite okay lah, only get to sit few rides only! Holiday over too fast & it gonna pass 1 month already.

i miss ballball, she is so cute, adorable, playful, obedient. Alot of best thing to describe her, i hope i can adopt a dog like her next time. Chinese new year coming, i haven buy any clothing yet. Time is way too packed! Anyway i am heading to PSB tmr & also CDAC, i hope i got enough time to travel both side. Paya labar & tanjong pagar (if i don't rmb the place wrongly) Hopefully i can registered & got into the business course i want, it might be stress i don't know. But seriously i think its really hard to survive with only ITE cert now. Tsktsk!

New Year, New Resolution.

Happy New year everybody,
Brand new start. Hopefully this year will be a great one, ohwell i feel so old now! 20 years old already, the feeling of approaching 20 is so close now. Sooner i will be 21, 22 & so on. 31st the last day of 2011.. Superisingly, i didn't head to town and joined the countdown there. Instead i went to malaysia in the late afternoon as it was the last minute plan, bf called and asked if i want to tag along tgt with his friends. So i agreed, waited for his friend to come fetched me then headed to malaysia with Bf, yuky , jingfu & bernard..

Bernard actually wanted to collect his GPS. But is not ready yet, so we headed for our late lunch somewhere in msia. Had soup & rice, i swear it is super delicious! after eating we went to holiday plaza/INN to shop! nothing much but Hp accesories, bought myself a earpiece! and i used up all my msia money alrdy.

Actually their stuffs quite cheap though, compared to singapore pricing. After shopping, we headed to a seafood restuarant to had our dinner. I love the crabs there, tasted so awesome. spend arnd RM 200 for our dinner. its consider cheap le ok! After eating head back to singapore suppose to meet huifen and her bf but but but when we reaches singapore it's quite late so we didn't went to town and find them that day, instead of town we went to yuky's hse instead. Her dog is super cute :D

played mj at her house then off for mac breakfast. & Home Sweet Home! Rest all the way, then head to hospital to look for grandma the next afternoon w bf accompany, while he is studying at starbuck i went to ward to look for her. Seeing her coughing in pain really heart breaks lah. But when she try to joke with us, everything seems kinda relief! went to AMK hub next, supposed to catch a movie at AMK but the slots are full for the earliest timing so we bought the next day tickets instead. Passion card $7 for weekend w 1 small pop corn! LOL.

watched "we bought a zoo" kinda funny though, After watching went straight home as next day i gotta work. Reached home quite early, so computer game to kill my time! Went to bed after i got super tired.. Next morning, almost can't get up for work! no matter how many hours i sleep i still feel tired. ):